Private messaging

What are private messages?

Private messages are messages sent between you and another member. They are private between you and cannot be seen by any other members. Private messaging is like email, except totally anonymous, safe from viruses and spam-free!

Sending a private message to another member

Once you've found someone you like you can send them a message. To do this:

log in
locate the person you would like to send a message to
click their name or photograph to view their profile
there is a message box towards the bottom of the page
type your message into the box
click "Send"
the message is sent instantaneously using our internal delivery system, and the recipient is normally notified by email that there is a message waiting for them

You can send up to thirty private messages per day to other members completely free of charge. To send unlimited private messages please upgrade to Blue Membership.

Find out if the recipient has read your message

To find out if a recipient has read a message you sent them, check your "Sent messages" folder via the "My messages" link in the main menu

Next to each message is an icon. The closed envelope icon means the recipient has not read the message. The open envelope icon means the recipient has read the message.

Replying to private messages

To reply to a private message:

log in
click "My messages
click the link of the message you would like to reply to
click the "Reply" link
type your message
click "Send"
the message is sent and received immediately using our internal delivery system

You can check if you have replied to a message by looking at the icon next to the message in your Inbox folder. If the closed envelope icon is showing, you have not yet read the message. If the open envelope icon is showing, you have opened the message but not replied to it. If the open replied envelope icon Replied is showing, you have replied to the message.

Deleting private messages

You can delete messages from your Inbox folder. To do this:

log in
click "My messages" in the main menu
tick the checkbox next to each message you would like to delete
click the "Delete" button at the top of the column
the messages are then moved to your "Deleted messages" folder

You can view deleted messages in your "Deleted messages" folder for up to 90 days after deletion. After 90 days, ALL messages, whichever folder they are, are automatically deleted by our system.

Undeleting deleted private messages

You cannot undelete a message you have deleted, but you can view and reply to it from your "Deleted messages" folder any time up to 90 days after receiving it.

Viewing messages you've sent

To see messages you have sent to other members, do this:

log in
click "My messages" on the main menu
scroll to the bottom of the page
click "Sent messages

Find out who sent you a private message

Members do not need to have a profile online to send you a message. If you've received one and cannot find the sender on the site it means they do not currently have a profile or have not yet created their profile.

Finding missing private messages

This normally happens when you have blocked the sender. Check and remove the block if necessary. For more details on blocking and unblocking, see the Blocking section.

Why can't I send any more messages?

As a free member you are entitled to send up to thirty messages per day free of charge. If you hit this limit you can upgrade to Blue Membership to send and read unlimited private messages. You may have reached 10000 messages, which is the maximum any member can send. Contact us for more information.

Blocking unwanted members from sending private messages

We understand that you may not want to receive private messages from a particular member for various reasons. You can block another member from the message page. To do this:

log in
click "My messages" on the main menu
click a message from the person you want to block
click the "Block sender" link under the message

For complete information on blocking and unblocking members, see the help section on Blocking.

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